maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
