David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
