what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
