They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize