I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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