ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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