woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
