very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
