my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
