was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
