It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we're making bets on your personal life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
