i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
