Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
