This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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