ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
please come you make the beer taste better
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
