yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
