I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
