oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize