White coat. Heels.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
