This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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