just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize