So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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