Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
