Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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