No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
