Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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