That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
