im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
