sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Success! We fucked roommates!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
