You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize