I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize