The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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