I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
