I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
