So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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