saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize