Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
