I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
