Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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