hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
