So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
