her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize