Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
