help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
