I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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