This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
