So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
