Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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