Im at strip club and am horny
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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