Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I miss vodka workout Fridays
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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