Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize