at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
