Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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