I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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