toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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