Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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