Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
