the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize