my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
porn star boner night. come get it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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