I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
