Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
