Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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