the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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