WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
