dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
